Donald Trump Toilet Paper

We’re Down to Our Last Roll – 6

Shelter-in-place observations. An ongoing chronicle of the plague.

Chronological music Stuck at home with nothing to do, I am trying out chronological music listening. I put on a selection of music from different eras in the past, moving forward through time. Sometimes it’s modern popular music, and I might start with some Delta blues. Other times, like today, I concentrate on classical, and start in Medieval times.

Today I started with Hildegarde, moved on to the Renaissance with Dunstable, and right now I’m in Baroque Spain with a guy named Joan Cabanilles.

Cabanilles wrote battle music for the Iberian organ. At first, I thought this involved putting one on a wagon and hauling it around on the battlefield to enhearten the troops, like the Greek bards of ancient times. I was impressed with the cultivation of the Spanish nobility, or clergy, or whoever the hell was putting on the wars back then.

But, this turned out not to be the case. Instead, “battle pieces generally imitate the commotion of war with busy voicing, ostinato figures, lively rhythms, and percussive chords that simulate musket or cannon fire” (1). Trumpet sounds are big, too, as you can imagine. So the upper classes who attended these things could have all the fun of being in a battle without actually having to bleed. It was like Netflix.



Hand sanitizer Running short of hand sanitizer, I went out on the back deck and whipped up a test batch with the 170 proof alcohol I got at HMB Distillery. I found some aloe gel that had been in the bathroom cabinet forever, added a tablespoon to 100 milliliters of alcohol (just over a cup), and topped it off with a level squirt of lemon juice. Works out to just over 70% alcohol by volume.

So now I’m ready to compete with Purell. They claim their stuff kills 99.99% of bacteria, viruses, germs and everything. I don’t have that kind of data, but I can claim 100% of the flies that landed on the surface.

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